I’m currently making a series of green programmes for CNBC
which will be aired in May and June this year.  Meanwhile here is a compilation of some recent TV cuts, starting with a few minutes on GMTV when I tried (unsuccessfully) to turn the nation green and some dangerous looking footage of me wobbling around Chelsea on my bike in a bid to promote cycling. 

The story behind the GMTV footage…

GMTV  ran a Green Week last year where selection of green bods including me were whizzed in and out to extol the virtues of eco living to the cornflake munching masses from the comfort of Lorraine Kelly’s sofa.

On the due day I arrived at the studio clutching my bag of eco props.  Coming up in the lift I got talking to the GMTV celebrity divorce expert – she pops in whenever there’s a celebrity divorce so as you can imagine she’s there all the time.  `What’s that?’ she asked pointing to my drought buster (a hosepipe device which siphons of bath water into your garden). 

`Oh’ I replied breezily. `I’m the new colonic irrigation expert and I’m going a live demo at 8.30am’.  She didn’t bat an eyelid; such is the eclectic mix of `experts’ on breakfast telly these days. 

Before my sofa moment they played a 3 minute `infomercial’ filmed a few days before showing me doing green things around my flat. 

I did my usual green spiel, demonstrating my worm bin again, scouring pots with bits of old lemon and making up my bug zapping MRSA proof spray made from tea tree oil and vodka (patent pending). 

This was timely as a report has just appeared highlighting the dangers of `toxic splash’ – the 4 billion chemicals from toiletries and cleaning products - flushed into the water systems every day which have a devastating effect on our health, our hormone levels and on wildlife. 

Lemon juice, bicarbonate of soda (better value to buy from the chemist than the poncy pots you find in supermarkets), vinegar, salt and various combinations of these will make your home gleam far more effectively than the chemical cocktail of expensively packaged, animal tested toxins on the supermarket shelves.    

Watching the rushes I was concerned that I appeared a bit bossy. 

`Bossy is good!’ insisted James the producer.  `Brits like bossy, think of Trinny and Susanna, Kirsty Alsopp and Barbara Woodhouse!’ 

Brief respite came from the cameras when they asked if S, my long suffering squeeze, would mind being filmed peeing in the compost heap to illustrate the need to save water from excess loo flushing. 

`Mind, what do you mean mind?  He’d love it.  All men do’, I went on warming to my theme, `it brings out their hunter gatherer instincts that get re activated watching  those boring Bear Grylls survival type programmes and that other man who forages in forests and takes hours to make fire from bits of stone’ .

But unlike the perky Bear Grylls, S seemed very grumpy when the time came to do his bit for home composting.

`What’s my motivation?’ he kept asking luvvily.

`Oh shut up and just get on with it!’  I shouted. 

Fortunately women are advised not to `go’ on compost as we are too acidic, there’s a surprise, so I was perched on the edge of my bath which was full of water blackened with seaweed fertiliser to make it authentically used looking to talk about the joys of sharing baths with presumably very (grubby) friends. 

Making the programme was tiring and took hours to get a tiny amount of footage, but it felt good to get the information out there.  And if it made anyone think about conserving water and holding back from flushing the toilet wantonly (loo flushing uses one third of the average home’s water) perhaps some good will have come from it.

Julia Stephensons’ showreel
watch >

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Going green in Chelsea. Novelist Julia Stephenson explains her plans for making her london flat environmentally sound.
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Why I rejected a champagne lifestyle for green living.
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Recycling. Julia advises on what you can do.
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The lady protests. Julia Stephenson knows how to be a princess among protesters.
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